Wednesday, February 06, 2008
This Valentine's Day, Send a Call From A Has-Been Retro "Star"
Valentine's Day is next week, peeps, and nothing says "I love you" to a significant other than having a has-been retro star call them and do it for you. Why fool around with flowers, dinner, and chocolates when for only $19.95 you loved one can receive a live phone call from Butch Patrick, Russell Johnson, or Christopher Atkins? Who, who, and who you might ask? Well you might know them respectively as Eddie Munster, The Professor from Gilligan's Island, and the curly blonde-haired dude that starred with Brooke Shields in The Blue Lagoon.
I'm not kidding. The site HollywoodisCalling makes these "celebrities" and more available to call anyone of your choice and deliver a 30-second message to them. The site's celebrity directory reads like a Who's Who for the next line-up of Dancing With the Stars...as in who the heck is who again? The site lists a resume of appearances beneath each personality, lest you don't recognize them. Well, of course I know who Jon Provost is! Only Timmy from the Lassie series! Geesh!
There's a catch, though. According to the FAQ section of the site, celebrities can place their calls anytime within 7 days of receiving the order, and because of time differences, your loved one could be awakened in the middle of the night by Ron Palillo aka Arnold Horshack.
I'm so disappointed that former miniseries and TV movie leading man of the 70s and 80s, Peter Strauss, isn't listed in the directory. Now there's a guy whose career has tanked ever since Miracle-Gro failed to renew his contract as their official spokesman. I was so in the mood for some phone sex and Lou Ferrigno just doesn't cut it for me.