'Tis that time of year when vintage car owners show off their chrome and wheels at cruise nights and classic car gatherings, but the custom van of the 70s usually isn't one of them. I don't know why no one is restoring these shag pads on wheels, because street vans were a huge automotive phenomenon during the late 70s and early 80s--there was even a magazine dedicated to them called Travelin' Vans. However, as a public service to my readers, I'd like to offer three simple steps on how to turn any mommy (or daddy) minivan into the Ultimate Shagging Wagon. Get ready to say to your friends and neighbors, "If this van is a-rockin', don't come a-knocking!"
1. Get a Custom Paint Job
Vans from this time period were adorned with a wild assortment of graphics and portraits, from bold, mod looking stripes to western landscapes. Nothing was too tacky for a 70s van, so let your imagination go wild--even if you're a Star Wars fan!
2. Get a Custom Interior
Don't forget about the inside of your vehicle! Shag or velour carpeting will make those trysts with your loved one a little more comfy (but watch out for carpet burn!) while curtains ensure privacy. A lava lamp, dashboard Jesus, or fuzzy dice adds a nice ambiance and sets the mood. For added flair, consider the chain steering wheel--it was a favorite of Cheech and Chong's, after all.
Or how about some fiber optic lighting???
3. Go Where the Girls (or the Guys) Are
Take the van to the beach, local swimming hole, or your neighborhood block party. They'll flock to it like moths to a flame!
Don't you just totally want one now?